Long before I ever paid attention to my inner submissive/ BDSM/fetish voice, I lived a traditional lifestyle, never venturing far from the safe atmosphere I created for myself. I knew I had these repetitive, annoying, sexually, explicit scenes of dominance and submission playing out in my mind, as early as my teenage years.
Quite embarrassed by these obscene notions, I would push them out of my head. Uncontrollable fantasies of being tied up tightly, helpless & forced to do sexual deviant acts. Thoughts of receiving pain by someone stronger and more powerful than myself and submitting to this fictional character’s dominant desires and being rewarded with mind blowing orgasmic pleasures.
I never was in the right place, time or with the proper individuals to play out these Perverted Sexual fantasies that lay hidden away in my mind. Actually I thought that these kinds of sexual obscurities didn’t really exist at all. so… I found myself doing normal girly things such as frequenting mainstream clubs, going to concerts, creating art, writing love poems and other non sexual hobbies.
One ordinary day, my whole life changed dramatically. This is the day I met my Master. He found me. Literally and figuratively. He could see right through me and pointed out my submissive nature. He nurtured and cultivated my submissiveness and showed me that it was ok to be like this, to think like this and I needn’t have to hide it anymore.
The day we met, He took me on the most wildest, sensual, seductive journey of self discovery within myself, I could ever imagine. He took me into His world, His lifestyle. He knew what I craved, He knew my hunger, He knew my deepest, darkest secrets. He knew exactly what I longed for deep down inside. I was understood after being misunderstood for so long. There was no question about it and not long after He began to train me to be a slave, something he knew I wanted and desired intensely within my soul.
Under Master’s watchful and protective eye, I was guided and mentored online by other Masters, Dominants and Mistresses. What a thrill! I became hungrier and hungrier for more knowledge about this lifestyle. I needed to become part of it and to learn all I could. I finally found my niche, that place where I belonged, I place within myself where I now felt comfortable and not annoyed by my sadomasochistic meanderings. I found Home.
Master wanted me learn every angle of BDSM and the BDSM lifestyle, He wanted me to see every side and not just learn from one persons perspective. He wanted me to see the whole picture of what goes on in the BDSM/Fetish world and everything it entails. The good and the bad. Master let me learn for myself what was real and what wasn’t and how to tell the difference and how you can be fooled into thinking someone was a real Master, Dominant, slave, mistress, submissive as they proclaimed to be. I learned all the differences he wanted me to be aware of. I am very grateful for His teachings.
This extensive training lasted for almost two years until he knew I was ready to be collared and take the title of His slave. All of my dirty, naughty, perverted thoughts I had ever disregarded as being impure and of unheard of, I began to embrace and accept. It became a part of my life. A new lifestyle. This was a true part of who I was as a woman. Finally, I stopped pushing these dark thoughts out of my head and began accepting my newfound self and living out my deepest sexual BDSM fantasies in real life. Accepting myself and realizing that my thoughts of BDSM were not as taboo as I thought they were. What an adventure thus far, and my journey continues to get better and better as time goes on.
I am forever grateful To Master.